Today I learned two lessons of making friends. The first one is to smile all the time...
Example: Mr. Robert Creyer needed to recruit someone with a PhD in science for his company. A week later, he found the person just right. After several phone calls with him, the man found out some bigger companies also recruited him. When the person with the PhD joined Mr. Creyer, Mr. Creyer was surprised. He asked why the man didn't join the bigger groups. The man answered, "Managers in the other companies spoke like just another business deal. Your voice sounded as if you were glad to hear from me..." From then on, Mr. Creyer always talks to people on the phone with a smile.
...the second one is to greet people with their names, especially a person who isn't called by their name.
Example: There was a man who worked at General Motors, and at lunch, he ate in the cafeteria. The lunch lady was really grouchy. Nobody greeted her, and to her every person is just another sandwich. The first day, the man didn't greet the lunch lady. He got a normal amount of things. The second day, he greeted her with her name, and he got heaps of meat, 3 slices of lettuce, and so much potato chips it was falling off the tray!
Today I read about how to make people like you. The first one is to listen to others with interest...
Example: The author of this book, Dale* Carnegie, went to a bridge party. He didn't play bridge, so he struck up a conversation with another woman. He asked about her husband's travels. After that, she went on and on, talking about her husband's travels. For 2 hours, Dale didn't do anything. He just listened. But, he gave the woman a sense that he was interested. And lots of times, people just want to have someone to listen to them talk.
...the second is to talk about other people's interests.
Example: William Phelps learned this lesson when he was little. When a New York Times publisher came to have dinner with them, the publisher knew that William liked boats. So, after talking to William's mom, he talked about different kinds of boats. It's kind of like chapter 3 in part 1. Instead of thinking of what you want, think about what the other person wants. Or, in this case, what their interested in.
*Dale is a fruit company that makes oranges.
Today I read about what to do when an argument occurs.
The first thing you should do is to let the other person talk first about their point of view. Let them talk and listen carefully. Don't inturrupt them. After they are done talking about their point of view, you state your idea, and shape it like this: "I think __________ because__________. I might be wrong, because I am wrong most of the time."
After that, you might have influenced them to also admit that they are wrong sometimes. That way, you and him have almost avoided a conflict. After they tell you they might be wrong, the worst thing to do is to say, "Yeah, you're wrong. Ha ha!" . You should tell them, "I'll think about your decision later." and actually mean it. Congrats! You have avoided an argument!
Today I read about what to do when an argument occurs.
When a conflict happens, you should always show respect for other people's opinions. If you do, they will eventually cool down and listen to your opinion. You just have to let them go first and don't interrupt them.
Example: A man named Mr. Crowley works as a lumber inspector. He has had lots of arguments. Though he won them, he gained nothing. So, when he received a phone call from a factory saying some lumber he inspected was not satisfactory, he listened to the man who was on the phone. After the man was done, he drove over to the factory.
At the factory, he asked the man why the lumber was unsatisfactory, and told the man to show him the wood. After several, Mr. Crowley told the man that this was white birch, and asked him some encouraging questions about what he knew about it. The man confessed and told Mr. Crowley that he didn't know much about white birch. So, Mr. Crowley told him about it, all the details. After that, the man was convinced and took the deal.
Today I read about what to do when an argument occurs.
Okay, I am going to mash things up a little. When an argument is about to occur, you should admit that whatever you did was wrong. Then, the other person will most likely try to defend yourself. The "yes-yes" rule is next! You should always get the other person to say yes over 2 times if you are influencing them or just trying to tell them something.
For example: One time, Dale Carnegie was walking his dog in the park. He encountered a policeman. The policeman told him that having a dog not on his leash had to be fined. He let him off this time, and told him the next time he wouldn't be so lucky. A week later, Dale's dog didn't wear a leash. And they encountered the policeman again. Dale said to the policeman that he could be fined. The policeman actually defended Dale! And after that, he never faced the problem of having a dog on a leash again.
99.9% of the information in the book "How to influence people and make friends", I agree with. But, there is this little example (see above) that I don't really agree with.
One of the examples are, when you are in a park with your dog running around without a leash, a policeman catches you. He tells you that if you have a dog without a leash, you have to pay a fine. You say okay, but he catches you again, and when you admit your mistake, as a good policeman, he should still fine you. Why not? If the SWAT catches you robbing banks, when you admit your mistake, should they just FORGET about it?? Same with the policeman! You are supposed to pay a fine. Why should I defend you? I should probably do the right thing and fine you, right?
So, the conclusion that I can make out is that A). The policeman was very carefree and didn't actually care if did his job right or not. If not, then B)., the policeman has a soft spot for dogs. And a policeman shouldn't have a soft spot for anything, especially for a dog owner that was SUPPOSED to be fined.
I won't do this until next month, because I don't want to sound grouchy or anything.
Today I read about how to deal with people.
In this chapter, we learned it at school. PUT YOURSELF IN OTHER PEOPLE'S SHOES. The golden rule, basically. Do unto others as they to unto you. I don't know about the "unto's" yet.
Here is one example in the book: There was a husband in New York that had a wife who liked to tend her lawn every day. The husband thought it was just another way to avoid working, or, unnecessary labor, and he yelled at his wife everytime she went to tend the garden. After 3 years, he decided to think about what she felt. The husband found out that his wife found tending the garden relaxing. And so, from that day on, the husband always helped the wife tend the garden. And from my experience, the wife will also help the husband with something.
Today I read about how to deal with people.
I don't want you to get the wrong idea of "Appeal to the greater motives". First, it DOES NOT mean think of an excuse. You should base it off of a true fact that they know. Like, I can't eat this because I'm lactose intolerant. (I'm not actually lactose intolerant)
This is one of the examples in the book: In a way, John D. Rockefeller stopped reporters from snapping pictures of his children by not saying "Stop taking pictures of my kids, I don't like that", he phrased it like this: "Can you please stop taking pictures of my kids? You know how addictive fame is, and you know that it is best for youngsters to grow up without it." Just like that, by telling them another reason they should stop taking pictures. And just saying, I don't like publicity, ether.
Today I read about how to deal with people.
The thing I learned today is to never tell people to actually do things. You should just make suggestions. For example, instead of "Jace, stop jumping on the couch" you should say "Jace, wouldn't it be better if you didn't jump on the couch". (I jump on the couch sometimes)
The teachers at my school demonstrate the trick of suggesting things every day. They will always suggest you do something instead of actually telling me to do it. That way, it gives the students a choice. That way. you can let people to the things themselves. Make them feel important. Also, you should always compliment first. Mrs. Ryan always compliments first on the places I do well, and they she tells me what I could to to make it a little better. Our teachers are always nice to us no matter what. Unless we do something really, really bad, like rob a bank.
If you want to influence someone, you should praise their slightest improvement. It's like training a dog! Dog trainers give the dogs a treat every time the dogs do something right, which incentivizes the dogs to listen to the trainers. Can we apply the same method to humans? Certainly! Always give other people a compliment, or a little gift as a reward for their efforts. They would get used to obeying your orders or following your suggestions.
I wish I have learned this trick when I was 5. Little kids are easy to manipulate. They would practically follow any orders for a chocolate-chip cookie.
If you want to make people feel good about why they didn't get chosen for, such as a job or a meeting, you should still make them feel important. For example, if you gave somebody 10 shots on goal in soccer and the other person 15 shots, you should tell the latter person that took 10 shots, "I didn't give you 15 shots because you are too good for it!". What you say should be similar to the one I wrote. This trick It will also work on of adults. In the book "How to influence people and make friends", the author they showed that an adult used a similar expression did the "You are too good for it" thing that I described and got great response.
I think this would work on my friends, because I have a good record with everyone. Having a good record means people can trust me. Every friend I have, I have had it since September. You can visualize the friend graph on a piece of paper. Just draw you and who is friends with who. I have a couple of new friends.
I think this would work on my friends. I have a good record of keep friendship with my friends, which means people can trust me. Every friend I have, I have had them since last September. You can visualize the friend graph on a piece of paper. Just write down everyone's name and connect the ones that befriend each other. I also made some new friends in the past year.
"I'm scared, dad. I don't want to go in. It's cold and very deep."
We were in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, on a platform for snorkeling near Australia. I was really scared about the fact that I could drown while snorkeling. Dad told me it was fine, but says the person that mastered swimming 15 years ago! (I barely can swim) Normally, I wouldn't do this, but I knew that it was time to act like a big kid and just wing it. Plus, I saw other kids having a great time in the water, so I took a deep breath and got ready.
After dad told me to put on my goggles, I bit down on the tube (which was salty) , and then nervously went in the water. I was feeling scared, so I didn't look down. But, I couldn't resist it, and when I looked down, I saw 2 jellyfish, lots of small fish, and a couple of big fish. I felt really excited and scared. So, I kept holding on to the railing extended from the platform. For the first several rounds, I felt like a wasn't ready, so I didn't go that far. But after dad I didn't even see any coral. Later, I started to get the hang of it. I excitedly ventured far enough for me to see the good coral. I felt like happily floating in the water.
After about 15 minutes, I was able to swim around the entire patch of coral. Interestingly, some coral were white and they were broken! I thought that was pretty weird. At the same place with broken coral, I encountered danger. Waves were pushing me backwards, and some even made me drink in water! I've never handled these situations before, but thankfully I was able to get my head above the water for long enough that I could pour out the salt water in my snorkel. Surprisingly, I didn't choke while doing that. When I was done pouring salt water out, I made a dash for the nearest floating pool noodle and swam back. By that time, it was already 1:00, time to do something else!
I feel super proud of myself for swimming in 40 feet water. Not a ton of people have done that before! I also feel proud of myself for being brave and trying new things. In the end, I really liked it! I want to go there again!
"Can I perform in a chair?" That's what David said after he got injured during a performance.
It was 2015. David and his band were performing in a stadium in Switzerland. When David's band was playing the song, Monkey Wrench, David had to run from one end of the stage to the other end of the stage. When he was running, he accidentally tripped on a wire. He stumbled to the edge of the stage, which forced him to jump off a 12 foot drop. Unfortunately, he broke an ankle and a leg.
David was in great pain. At that moment, though, he kept singing on stage. He knew that lots of people had spent their hard-earned money on tickets to come and watch him perform with his band. So, instead of going to the hospital, he stayed in a chair and sang the rest of the songs. David continued to sing for hours, and the performance was a blast.
I think David is great. He shows tons of passion for music, and he also is very considerate, too. If I were him, I would just forget that there is an audience that wants to hear me perform.
I like dogs better than cats.
Dogs tend to get used to their new home quicker and they will guard your home. They go to the bathroom outdoors (which makes the house cleaner and you don't have to clean a litter box. You can train them to not bark and woof all the time, as they are more obedient than cats. When you give them a treat, they will start to follow your instructions. They can sort of understand human languages, like "sit" and "fetch" and "roll over". On the other side, dogs can knock down flower pots, rip books, and they don't have table manners. Plus they don't take off shoes like we do, so there will be muddy paw prints everywhere, from the wood floor to the marble bathroom to the carpet! They also depend on you a lot to walk them, feed them, and bath them.
Cats are more independent, they won't bother you too much and they live for a long time. 12-18 years if they are domesticated! They don't make as much noise as dogs do (unless at night), and they don't need too much exercise. All you have to do is play with them for 20 minutes every now and then. Some annoying parts of owning a cat is that you have to keep them indoors (unless a outdoor cat, and those attract a ton of muddy footprints) and they're not much fun. They can scratch furniture, they sometimes disrupt your sleep (They are active at night!) , they can break things, and they also can hurt you. If you own a cat <1yr, they are likely to sleep less and meow a ton. They also tend to scratch you more than adult ones, instead of just hiss.
BUT... even the Washington Post says that sometimes cats are just misunderstood. When you are glaring at your cat, ready to yell, "WHY DID YOU JUST PUSH MY MUG OFF THE TABLE??" you should remember that cats don't understand you the same way as dogs. So, instead of yelling, you can imagine what you would do if you were the cat.
I'm not saying cats are good, though.
"But, more than anything, I was free, and there was adventure around every corner."
David and his bandmates were now playing concerts in Europe. They took Amsterdam as their main home. But, unlike in the US, they were partially broke. He and his bandmates worked jobs in the day, and at night, they drank beer and played songs. He and his bandmates couldn't afford to ship their instruments over to Amsterdam because it cost too much money. It turns out, The band had friends here. The friends gave them instruments to play with.
One day, when David and his bandmates were hanging out at their favorite punk rock bar, De Muur, there was a sudden burst of energy as some skinheads and right-wing fanatics were organizing an attack on the bar. A full-on riot broke out, and people began pouring out of the bar with makeshift weapons and shields. After a fight (everyone at the bar joined) the attacking army retreated and surrendered.
Anything can happen to you when you are free. You just have to be ready for it. If, at the beach, you know that there is a big wave coming, be ready for it. If you aren't, you will get swept away. Life will try to sweep you away, and you just have to stand your ground. Sometimes, listen to good advice to improve yourself.
"Do you mind if we take a break? I've never done a tribal tattoo before."
The person who was giving David the tattoo was kind of worried. Believe me, if I were David, I would not want to hear those words come out of his mouth. If even a professional tattooer would be worried, I would be even more worried. After all, it's a forever thing.
David recently quit Scream, his old band, and joined a band called Nirvana. When he joined, the band members gave him 400 dollars. He was Warren Buffett in his dreams now! He blew it on a BB gun and a Nintendo console. He spent the rest on eggs to shoot and food. The money quickly dried out. All he had left for was a tattoo. So, he got one.
I'll explain more tomorrow.
I will explain more from yesterday.
The reason he bought his money on a Nintendo console and a BB gun was because they were the childhood luxuries that he always yearned for. His family didn't have enough money to buy them. His mother worked multiple jobs tirelessly just to make ends meet. She was a schoolteacher on weekdays, department store clerk by night, estimate writer for a carpet cleaning service on weekends.
As a single parent, she worked hard to the point you bust! With two mouths to feed (David and his sister) , she did anything she could to keep them well fed. And for David? 400 dollars for playing rock and roll? He thought it was free money!
If I were him, I would not blow it all in one place. I would buy things that I might actually need, for example a keyboard and headphones, maybe. Then, if I had extra money, I would buy a watch to call my parents and to see the time and date. Or a AM/FM radio.
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I also read about when Nirvana went famous.
"We were surrounded, and there was not way out."
Nirvana was doing lots of trips around the US, and they were doing really good. Everyone was hearing them perform well. After the shows in nightclubs and bars with 250 people, they suddenly jumped to 800 people averagely! They made so much money that they could rent a hotel room for the day . And, with a considerable amount of money, everyone got a pay raise, 15 dollars a day. Not too bad!
But, Nirvana really hit their peak when a message was sent to them that their music video of "Smells like a teen spirit" had become so famous that it was allowed to be put on a show called 120 minutes. All of their heros were on it, and soon, they were rock stars all over the world!
I'll explain more tomorrow.
Today I will explain more from yesterday.
David's band, Nirvana, was really at their climax. If you are thinking, "How well are they doing?" the answer is... they literally pushed Michael Jackson off the number one spot on the Billboard's albums!* That's right, Nirvana once was the number one album seller in the US! Nirvana was really on a roll. After a bunch of West Coast concerts, they were really hitting it off.
[FLASHBACK] When David was 10, he watched "Saturday night live" every saturday. He was only there to see the B-52's perform their best hit, Rock Lobster. The song made him feel unique, it made him feel...DIFFERENT. Now, he didn't know back then, but he was going to devote his entire life into music. It made him want to raise his own flag.
After West Coast concerts, they flew from Seattle to Australia to perform more shows. After that, they flew to Japan.
I'll explain later.
SORRY FOR THE DELAY: WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK
In Australia, they did everything: they surfed Bondi Beach, they went countless zoos, and all their Australian hosts welcomed them to their homes. So, in return, Nirvana BLASTED THE ROOF OFF OF THE STADIUMS! Everybody turned up to the highest volume and almost broke their instruments.
In Japan, every concert hall had military police guarding the halls, making sure nobody started a riot. Nirvana wanted to be just like the B-52's, let other's flags fly. So, they played like they never did before. They played so hard that every song they played, there was one person who rushed up to the stage, only to be tackled down. But, Nirvana made a clear point. DON'T BE AFRAID TO BE DIFFERENT. ALWAYS LET YOURSELD BE DIFFERENT, AND DON'T LET OTHERS STOP YOU.
Today I read about what happened after Nirvana's bandmates went their separate ways.
After David split up, he formed a new band named Foo Fighters. When he was listening to a album with a similar name to Foo Fighters, he thought "Foo Fighters" sounded like a punk rock band. So, he used the name. In the new band, he became the new lead singer, and found a new lifelong friend named Taylor Hawkins.
Once, David got a message saying he could play with a band called the "Heartbreakers" for Saturday Night Live. David couldn't believe his ears! He was about to play with a Hollywood band! He obviously said yes.
The Heartbreakers made him feel really included. They always had an easygoing laugh and kept calm. After they played for SNL, David was asked to join the band. David declined, because he knew that he would always be known as "that guy from Nirvana" instead of one of them.
Sometimes, after you do something really fast-paced, you will feel tired and need to rest. Just like a NASCAR, after a race, you can't have another race without cooling your engine down. Just like David! After years and years of rock and roll, you sometimes need a little space to yourself.
I will skip some information in the book, sorry!
David was scheduled to perform at sundown at the Kennedy Performance Center. For the president, Barack Obama! Well, adding all the other music heros of David's, such as Paul McCartney, Jack White, Stevie Wonder, and many others. David started to feel really worried, thinking that he would mess up and have a panic attack. He imagined it would lead to a lifetime of swallowing the pain.
But. And a big BUT. He asked himself, "Why am I asking myself negative questions when I could be enjoying it?" So, when he was called up, he walked up so stage with his head high, and rocked his song.
I think sometimes, when you are really scared of doing something, just wing it. Even if things go wrong, at least you got over it, right? Always look over to the bright side of things instead of the negative side.
David and his band are going to Australia to perform a giant tour named "The Day Off". They were used to the schedule of at least a show a day, so 6 shows in 3 weeks made it more like vacation than a tour. In the process, his girlfriend flew over to see him and to visit a psychic. Every musician who visited her came out of the apartment in awe.
The psychic was french, so David's girlfriend had to be the interpreter. The psychic told David he had psychic energy. His hands glowed a "powerful blue aura".
I don't think you should really trust psychics. First of all, most of them are really lame and say stuff your 4th grade teacher would say after you get a B+. Secondly, you could really hurt yourself badly, trying to make the "prediction" stuff happen. You should let life take its course.
Can you believe that this is yet another "inspiration"? This is, I think, the 3rd one!!
Okay. This time it's not about the B-52's or another band that nobody knows about. It's AC/DC. It's very famous!
So, AC/DC had this documentary film, I think, where they show the songs they play on film, including when they load and unload their trucks. David watched this when he was 11. He thought that rock and roll was always very glamorous. But, the film proved that it was very tiring. There was the grueling schedule of 1 show a day. But, AC/DC had this expectation that they would always playing themselves into the crowd by pouring every of energy to the crowd so they had a good time. And kind of so they sold more tickets next time.
AC/DC might have been David's most inspiring, well, inspiration (wow, good grammar!) to him. He was devoted to be like AC/DC, pouring every amount of energy to the crowd. But leaving enough that he could haul his instuments back to the van. And to start another day like the one before.
Yesterday my family went to hike at a mountain called Little Si. We arrived before sunset, and it was cloudy. There weren't a ton of people here, though some were at the lake under Little Si. It was a very tiring but rewarding journey.
On the way up, we didn't take many breaks. This made the hike more challenging. We only could see adults, and very few kids were hiking. When we got to the top, though, everybody forgot about how tired they were. We started eating food and enjoyed the view. A blue and green lake, snow-capped mountains, and billions of trees reminded me of nature's beauty.
For a round trip, 2 hours and 30 minutes up and down the mountain is a great achievement for us!